I wish you a disco Christmas Y'all

Dinner with the mietzekater

Amuse Bouches
 speckdatteln

1.Gang

vitello tonnato mit den kleinen kapern

palette cleanser 

zitrone basilikum minz sorbet - Koriander optional

2.Gang
thunfisch sashimi mit schwarzem sesam

3. Gang

Shitake Pilze

4. Gang 

fancy japanische Luxus Rindfleisch das auf der Zunge schmilzt

power nap
Stern Anis Blaubeer Acai Granitas mit Zitronen und Limetten Abrieb und geschnittenen Kumquats - Mandelsahne optional

5. Gang

Kitsune Udong

6.Gang

Baguette mit Butter, Ei , Schnittlauch und Salz und Pfeffer - Wasabi optional

7.Gang
Ab-Goosht

8.Gang

goosht kubide

a little piece of heaven

roasted Marshmellow - cherries optional no chocolate

brownies and coffee - tea optional

- cheese optional (Gruyere, Parmesan , Bavaria Blue)

so jaaa, ill have you know that I expect a perfect wine pairing as I cant be bothered to think of one mineself

Cupid can go and suck it !

The subject is L.O.V.E.

So many people have asked me over the years what my problem might be because I can come across as grumpy at times. Quite simply put, I had my trust and my heart broken just too many times to not be a cynic. So it used to be that my problem used to be that I used to fall into love quite simply and very easily when I was young and naive. Those times are now so far behind me that they are basically right in front of me again. In my life of now 35 years I had 2 relationships that I would describe as formative a.k.a. meaningfull and a boatload of affairs of the heart that were more akin to an emergency emotional top up then anything else. Interestingly enough it was never me who ended neither the meaningful nor the other kind, so yes , I have been dumped a lot, like really a lot. These experiences have not succeeded in closing up my heart to love , but just like any other kind of rejection I had been subjected to they lectured me into keeping my heart tightly wrapped up in an impenetrable fortress of doubt. You know , in german we call being rejected by someone whom you have romantic feelings for "getting a basket" , and believe you me , I got so many baskets in my life that I basically own the basket industry by now. But well , live is tough and as we also say in german it is not a pony farm, so you don't always get what you want especially concerning mares and stallions. It used to be that i was so bitter that whenever I saw people holding hands or showing public displays of affection I thought to myself "UGH! WHY OH WHY DON'T YOU DIE and while you're at it get a room you stupid jerks". It didn't take me long to discover that that was a very unhealthy way of approaching the world and especially the happyness of other people. So at some point I decided to firstly just not be jealous of other peoples joy and secondly I devised a way to partake in it. It might sound silly, but instead of allowing jealousy to darken my thoughts, I just declared all those lovely couples in love. You know the whole "Sigh .... young love" thing, and what can I tell you, it worked. It even worked so well that after a while if it was opportun , for instance if I was "trapped" in an elevator with a teenage couple making out, I would just ask them if I should declare them in love. Funnily enough it was mostly the women who would without hesitation cry YES PLEASE, while the guys would very often give me a slightly irritated look.

As love is complex , so is the declaration, I could just declare a group of people in love with a simple 

"I declare you in love", or I could go all out for intance at weddings this would be my blessing for the newlyweds:

I declare you in love eternal

may you be each others

keeper and guardian

may your love be a shining beacon in dark times 

and guide you through the rough seas of live

may your passion warm you in the coldest night

may your souls be bound to find each other

throughout the mists of space and time

may you experience love eternal

may you be joyful and content forever
together

So yea. I suppose that got me through a few rough years being a single. But now I feel nothing can lift my spirits sustainibly no more. This gnawing emptyness pertruding from my stomach just wont leave me alone, and I feel it is my soul yearning for its mate. So please, can somebody find me someone to love ? I dont like to reiterate myself , but I feel like a waterfall pouring out my love into the emptyness of whatever emptyness is made of. Can someone find a lake for me to fill ?

I have to warn u guys though. This is not an easy task as I am challenged concerning my standards. It's not that I only date models or anything like that , but I do have certain aesthetical preferences and I won't appologize for that. Also I am bisexual, so that means I don't know if the mono thing is the right for me , so I suppose I'm kinda looking for a throuple kind of situation although I have no experience in the poly business. And then there is the qustion of power games in a relationship. Spoiler Alert I despise them. I don't have time for anyone who thinks they can change who I am to suit THEIR needs. I deserve someone who can appreciate that I am right for them despite all my flaws and kinks or maybe exactly because of all of them. I am not perfect and I never will be so I come as a package deal with all my eccentricities and shortcomings, take it or FUCK OFF.

#TLDR I'm quitting you guys, you gotta find yourself another one to play the lone wolf. So if it's not too much of a bother could you please assemble my pack ? And by the way in my team everbody is a chef, but if you'll ask me nicely I'll be the BOSS.


So what do you say Humanity, do you accept my challenge ?

And for all of you who fetishize about Bonus Points, go and google Denobulans

I plead the 5th !

Being an artist is all about making decisions. I know it sounds like a cliche but you just shut up! Honestly being an artist means at least to me to mke decisions and sticking with them which is commonly knows as keeping it real or staying true to oneself. Although when push comes to shove, there is only one decision that truly is imperative and that is the decision to place trust in yourself. But not only into what you percieve as rationaly opportun, but also into what makes you feel right .

And as there is no absolute truth but that there is no absolute truth , there is no rule without exception. Exeptionally but truthfully, not everything that feels right might be rationaly opportun and vice versa not everything that is rationally opportun might make you feel right.

Finding guidance in this mist of choices can be a challenge at times. However Occams Razor should be in every twilight wanderers arsenal of analytical tools. Once you peel away every Spekulatius and don't forget about the cat from the house of schroedinger you'll soon begin to see how the cookie crumbles.

Never to forget the motto of the state of lower saxony i pledge,

"sturmerprobt und erdverwachsen"

Alles für den Davckel alles fur den Blub

Something we all adore

{DISCLAIMER}
The following statements have been made under mild influence of being under such. I shall not be liable for any confusion that arises through their reception. Also I try to be as inoffensive as possible but at times I can be a bit crass in the choice of words or metaphors to illustrate certain levels of elevated emotional response to certain miscommunications due to what is commonly known as the human condition.Also the video choice is ironic so get over yourselves you apostles of false morals

**********Finally I hear them say .... finally somebody thinks about the children !  [remixed Simpsons reference]**********

So uhm yea, i haven't been writing that much lately (haha have you seen my last post ? It's been like ages ) and maybe I'm just not a writer or at least like a blogging person or maybe I'm just more a fanperson of the spoken word or maybe I just lack a proper subject or the proper motivation to write down my thoughts and such on the issues that I feel need to be adressed and worked through  so that there can be something I would suggest to call Full Love Penetration or FLP for short.

So what is it that I would like to propose by assining a three letter acronym to an abstract construct like a possible state that society could be in , and that is the answer inself. So this possible state that society could be in that I assign the tag FLP to what is it supposed to be and how can we achieve it ?

That are 2 questions and I shall adress the separately 

1. WHAT IS FULL LOVE PENETRATION ?

Actually this idea of a concept called FLP just came to me like an hour ago on my way home. I was , as usually trying to understand why there is conflict between humans or at least why there is violence between humans and how one could go about solving these conflicts and end suffering and violence

Those are again 2 subproblems or actually 3 if you count conflict as problem in itself, but I shall in the effort of being brief only adress suffering and violence at this point and begin with the later.

--Why is there violence ?
puh thats a tough one , but i'll give it a try . You know you guys (and gals and unicorns and whatnot) violence is a dirty whore. She comes in many types , it can be STRUCTURAL, meaning that a system is designed to incentivize behaviour that can be against one owns best self interest. It can be direct and physical, and in this context it is most often used to either intimidate and coerce or to defend, whatever be it someones honor (for whatever that is supposed to mean) or even someones life. It can be psychological by nurturing a certain kind of dependency or it can even be totally accidental. But to explain what FLP is I have to ceteris paribus this motherfucker (meaning that I shal not give a in depths analysis but work with a constrained model in which most variables are fixed and only one or a few a variable) . So IMHO violence has three main sources. Ignorance, Structural Pressure and Malice. The first two we can cure with education , reason, compassion , innovation and such , malice however is a fickle bitch. Let's just adress the Elephant in the room the Problem are the Sadists, and I don't mean those adorable SM couples who like to play kinky domination games, but I mean those bastard motherfuckers who like to jizz of to other peoples pain. Those people are like a social pathogen in my opinion, but unfortunatelly we can't just kill them all , cause that would not be the right thing to do. Well, call me a naive little child but I believe we can get those dicktwads if we all just work together and make it clear to them that they can get with the program and hop on the love train or they wont be invited to after party and we will not let them have coke ever again and they will have to drink exclusively Pepsi light or water and so on you know

puh what a heavy birth

-- why is there suffering
like honestly I'm exhausted from all this writing maybe I should do like a vlog .... but honestly who wants to listen to me blabbering about. So anyways. Suffering has like a plethora of like causal influences a.k.a. reasons.

It has been formed in my mind the opinion that while there exist people who inflict suffering upon themselves for various reasons, there exists within a subset of people who do so because they are biochemically addicted to the state of being sad most suffering is inferred upon unwiling victims by people either guilty of ignorance or malice and my policy on those issues has been made clear above.

So how can we in a sense liberate people who are stuck in their pathogenic ways and a slave to their suboptimal socialisation ? How can we make sure --- but wait... who are we anyways ?

So I feel that there are many people who dont like conflict and who seek harmony and who understand that it is a 2 way street in the sense that as we say in german the forest reflects any sound you make.And we understand that no one is without flaw and we are all sinners so maybe we should just postpone the stoning and so on . And we feel that a world where everybody can be themselves without fear of ridicule or being opressed or or or ... I mean come on people we all know the deal


Hell, why am I even writing this


Everything doutable has to be doubted

there is no absolute truth but that there is no absolute truth

No rule without exception

Punk is what you make of it

Sapere Aude

Holla die Waldfee

Tschö mit ö und der Tschüssikowski grüßt auch

# memo an mich selber , möglicher bandname für meine post-progressive stoner rock crossover dubstep syntie pop kapelle : DAS UMLAUT KOLLEKTIV !

Love and Peace and all that Jazz

L'Chaim ihr Schmocks

Crazy Penis - You Are We

Regensburg u dirty little slut

Sorry Regensburg I don't have a photo for you today and you know fucking well why. But let's start from the beginning.So I'm this kind of person that picks up the phone and calls a radio station when they give away stuff for free. I just think its common sense, it's free stuff and they give it away. I like free stuff, who doesn't. Anywho so this time they were giving away free tickets to a band called Deichkind which I used to like a lot for songs like this

or this


















and this

So I called the station and told them I had a car and I could make the 150km journey to Regensburg where Deichkind were performing and was stocked to get to witness one of their spectacular shows , or so I thought anyways.

My partner in crime for the evening was my albanian coed Drita who was also a big Deichkind fan. As we are very aware of our carbon footprint we decided to ditch the car and go for a railtrip instead. So we were prepared for some moderate adventure when we boarded the train aptly named "Franz Kafka". Nothing prepared us however for the piece of conceptual interactive performance art that disguised as a concert of one of my former favorite bands.

Because let me tell you the only thing that went smoothly on this trip was the journey from Munich's central station to the concert venue. After that it was a constant flow of wtf moments.
So to get in we had to ask like 4 different heavily thoughy inadequately briefed security "professionals" to be referred to the right place where we could lay claim to our tickets which then turned out to be a cute little stamp of a cartoon frog.

However for some obscure reason, the entrance to the pit was guarded by another flock of security personel which didn't recognize the cute frog and demanded that we produce our tickets to be let into the front rows. Fortunatelly enough Drita an me had shared a huge sandwich just before the concert and my full stomach must have made me too lazy to argue.

No tickets no pogo was a total bummer, but as we are totally zen we just found some other place to appreciate the exquisite sound of an outdated soundsystem and an ecclectic crowd of rural bavarians.
Everybody seemed to enjoy the show, but honestly I was underwhelmed, which might have been due to the fact that we had to leave during the encore about half an hour before the show was over cause we had to catch the last train to back to munich.Also I find the new album derivative. I am aware that I agree with the consensus critique hence being derivative myself. But its true that there is little original in Deichkinds latest record.

And that was when shit really started hitting the fan.

45 min untill our train leaves (did i mention neither of us had a smartphone)

so just as we leave the venue, we are literally greeted with a big bang caused by a car crash right in front of us on the street. I dont know how it was caused, all I know is that from the corner of my eye I see two cars crashing  and poof 4 airbags pop up.

So we run back to the paramedic standing 50 meters away and tell them there was an accident. As soon as we were sure that the crashers were being taken care of, we headed towards the bus station. We were greeted with two empty busses and the declaration of the bus driver that he would not transport only two ppl and we would have to wait untill the bus is full.

FUCK

When it dawned to me that we might be stranded I must have sent out some subtle signs of desperation so the bus driver was kind enough to provide us with direction to another station where we could catch another bus to the trainstation which was in tune with what I had looked up in advance at home just for a case like this.

15 minutes untill our train leaves

So we found the other station and luckily enough there was a bus coming but we weren't sure if it would go to the station, so when it arrived we asked the driver which told us he wouldn't be holding at the central station, which turned out to be a lie (I'm not sure, but somehow I got the feeling that he didn't like anyone who wasn't blond and blue eyed ).

Well, we took a cab which to make things worse was stuck behind just the same bus slowing us down for a minute or two until our fabolous driver found a spot to pass it and raced down to the station in what germans would call an affenzahn.

45 seconds before our train leaves

So we rush into the station and run to the plattform and just when we're half way down the stairs to the plattform we hear a whistle and I see the green doorlights go dead

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

6 hours untill our train leaves

We take advantage of the conviniently positioned atm machine and stock up on moneyz. Wandering aimlessly around we come across a drunken guy who is sourounded by 6 police persons very loudly resisting arrest proclaiming he had done nothing. As this is bavaria the police isn't impressed by his assurance of innocence , da könnte ja jeder kommen.

As I try to inquiry with civilian bystanders what has happened here I get rather bruskly advised to mind my own business, which I do , as my mama raised no fool.

We stopped hearing the poor guys screams of resistance when we cross a nearby bridge and feel rather ghetto.

Devastated by the prospect of being forced to spend another 6 hours in a cultural hotspot like Regensburg we seek refuge in a McDonalds and drain our sorrow in a big portion of curly fries a coke , something resembling a burger, a cheesecake , a mocha and a muffin.

4.5 hours untill our train leaves

In a bitter lapse of judgement we decide to enter the first tourist trap cocktail bar right across the Mc Donalds. Drita orders a Geisha, and I order an Absolutely Man. They both come in a Cosmo glas, which never is a good sign as it means you are about to drink pure booze as sharp as it gets. The Geisha turns out to taste like womens perfume, and the Absolut Man unfortunatelly only lets through the vodka and the cointreau and just a vague memory of the mandarine advertised on the menu. So Drita refuses to drink her perfume and orders a Pina Colada which tastes like the juice from canned pineapples mixed with some light cream and  a fingertip of rum.

At some point we are so boozed up that both of us kind of need a power nap which doesnt agree with the barkeeper who threatens to throw us out and close the bar up if we both fall asleep. So I suggest we go out and smoke a cigarette and get some air, which we do. And this is when we meet the macedonian drug smugglers.

So we meet these 4 guys all around 20 or something from macedonia which speak albanian and immediatelly get into a lively conversation with Drita assuming I guess , that I also speak albanian (or maybe they were just being dicks). So I just do the whole smile and wave thing and wait patientently untill I get a translation from Drita who tells me that we have found ourselves in the company of some propper coke heads one of whom is a drug mule cause he has a diplomatic passport.

Maybe its Drita's superb technique of fending off their advances or maybe I just ooze natural souverignity but after 2 or 3 cigarettes they all leave in a bit of a hurry leaving us with paying the barkeeper for the gasoline and

3 hours untill our train leaves (yay half time)

which we decide to spend in a döner right as the  station decided to close from 1 to 4 just because it can.

We drown our sorrow of having to spend another 3 hours in this shithole with a börek , a pide, 2 ayran, 2 churros and a bakhlava. Unfortunatelly they have no tea at this döner.

Regensburg seems to be an albanian colony as we meet another albanian who is originally from Cologne but we cant find out what he is doing in Regensburg. What we can find out about him is that he is a Radiologist who would rather like to be a surgeon cause they get paid better. He also talks with Drita mostly in albanian, and she later tells me he has some major self worth issues.

Later we meet an albanian facility manager who has lived in Germany for 25 years is married , has 2 daughters and apparently wouldn't mind getting "friendly" with Drita. Luckily enough at this point its only another

1 hour untill our train leaves

so we flee to another döner across the street where we then realize we should have been going all along as they have the most delicious minced chicken meat balls with a divine sauce and perfectly seasoned Lima beans.

So at some point we board our train and we find this

Heaven

Finally our luck begins to change ;-)

AND FINALLY WE LEAVE REGENSBURG

We fall into a deep sleep and wake up just as we enter the Munich station.  I gather all my stuff stumble out of the train and kiss the ground as I feel the warm embrace of civilisation.

Und bei dir so ?